On May 28th at 5:15pm, we heard the sharp cries of our daughter as she entered this world. With tears streaming down my face, I saw her tiny red body (she was mad y’all!) as the doctor held her up for us to see. I tried to quickly count her fingers and toes, and wanted to sweep her up in my arms as quickly as I could to hold her tight. When she finally was placed on my chest, I started to soak her up and make sure that she knew she was deeply loved.
That was already a month ago.
To think that we spend months anticipating the arrival of our babies only to feel as though time couldn’t move any slower. Then after they finally arrive, we beg for time to slow down. Weird how that works. 🙂
She has changed our lives in the most amazing ways! I’m sure that this statement sounds outrageously cliche, but it’s true! I never thought that bringing her home would change us and our family dynamic so much. We obviously went from a family of 3 to a family of 4 which brings it’s own set of challenges and adjustments, but I’m talking more about how we have all changed as individuals because of her.
Jude loves his sister! I am not just saying this. He is completely obsessed with her. From the moment he gets up to the moment he goes to bed, he is very aware of “My sissy”, and he wants to love on her, rock her, and show her his cars. He has shown up in his role as big brother in a very sweet way.
He loves to push her in her stroller around the house (as well as outside), and I often find him bent over her bassinet talking to her in a way only a 20-month-old can. Watching him come into this role has been nothing short of heart melting. He can be a wild and crazy animal on his best days, running through the house at full-steam and ramming into things. He loves his cars, trucks, and animals, and there’s very little that can derail his focus on those things…except for her. When she begins to fuss, he drops everything and runs to her side, reaching into her bassinet and saying “okay sissy..okay. Soft…sweet…soft.” Nothing fills my heart up faster. I hope these moments only increase in frequency and that she always feels loved and protected by him.
For my husband, I’m pretty sure that he would say that he loves Everly like he loves Jude, but I hear him talk to her sweeter and protect her differently. I doubt he even realizes just how much of his heart she holds.
There’s a special bond between them that I’m not even sure he realizes. This bond between them has helped me see him differently. Helped me to hear him differently. When he heads out on the road, I can see the desire in his eyes to be home and be daddy first. Being a dad has stretched him, pushed him, and only makes him a better man. I love him in a deeper way because of this.
And as for me, having a daughter has changed everything. I wrote about those feelings in a letter to her. I talked about the void that she fills. I feel complete with her in my life in ways I never knew I was incomplete.
Having two kids under two is without a doubt a challenge. Most days I feel completely overwhelmed and wonder what in the world I’m doing. I have cried my fair share in the past month as I’ve done my best to calm crying kids, feed them, and still get in a quick shower while “Nemo” plays in my bedroom. But those times are more often than not over-shadowed by how amazing my kids are and how they make me a better person. Again, not a cliche. Less and less of my life is about me. Less and less of my life is filled with mundane tasks or things. And less and less do I feel lonely or empty. I am reminded regularly about the little things and when Jude comes up to me and hugs me and kisses me unsolicited, or Everly smiles at me when I talk to her, my heart feels like it could burst. It’s those things that propel each day into the next.
As month number one rolls into months two, three, and four, and eventually as those months roll into years, I hope that Everly continues to bring out the best in each of us. Each new day with you is a blessing sweet girl, and your family loves you deeply!