I was browsing Pinterest for a few hours, (there is no such thing as “a quick look” when it involves the Pinterest), and I saw this quote pop up. I stared at it. I read it a couple of times. I stared at it some more.
Then it hit me.
This is so true for me.
I’m sure when you read this, there will something in your life that will stick out and attach itself to this. It could be time spent obsessively checking your phone for messages, or perusing through the endless array of photos on Pinterest trying to make yourself and your life more amazing (irony, right?), or maybe you counting the calories consumed and the calories burned in a day. All of these things that we do. Habitually.
I think we have habits because they’re comfortable.
I think we have habits because they drive our days.
I think we have habits because they are decisions that we can make without having to do a lot of extra thinking.
I think we have habits because we don’t know what else to do.
A bunch of you read one of my last posts, and you pointed out that I needed to throw out my scale and stop worrying about the pounds. I needed to stop obsessing over how much weight I have lost to date. In all honesty, I was frustrated with you all. I felt like you had missed the whole reason behind why I posted that piece, and instead were focusing on something that really wasn’t a big deal. I felt something deep inside, but I couldn’t attach it to anything other than my frustration with you.
Or maybe I didn’t want to attach it to anything other than you.
Then I read this.
And I realized, you were right.
In the last 3 weeks, I have lost 8 pounds, and I’m unhappy. I’m unhappy with the lack of loss, I’m unhappy with the way I look, and I’m unhappy that I could probably give it more effort. I talked with my husband on the phone while he was out on the road, and he congratulated me on my supposed accomplishment of 8 pounds and told me how proud of me he was. My response? “I wish I saw this as an accomplishment…”
When did I lose sight of it all?
When did I become so obsessive with everything?
When did I stop loving myself?
When I sat down and really thought about the comments that I received on that post, I realized that I needed to let it go. Instead of worrying about the why’s and why-not’s, I needed to take a deep breath and make some choices. That’s really all living with intent is…actually making choices.
When we live with intent, we are forced out of the habits that make us mindless (often cranky) robots, and into a space where we get to choose and define our paths. Now, don’t think that if we have habits that we aren’t making decisions, because we are. But we never deviate from the same decisions over and over. Hence, the word “habit”.
Intentionality says that we are breaking the line and running to the front.
Intentionality says that we get to love ourselves today instead of falling into the rut of believing we aren’t worth it.
Intentionality doesn’t step up on that scale to only to be continually frustrated with results that aren’t what we want.
Intentionality sets us free.
All that to say, I want to start to live my day with intent instead of droning on in mindless habit. I want to choose a different path. Don’t you? And to all my readers the other day who called me out, thank you. Thank you for being willing to be intentional about engaging and wanting to help, instead of just reading and being silent. You were instrumental in me finding myself at this crossroads.
I know that I am not alone in this quest. So what habit would you like to break and be more intentional about? Write it down for yourself. Write it down here. Either way, once you write it down, you are more likely to do something about it. So be honest with yourself!