For those of you that heard that we are expecting our second baby sometime in May, you may have also heard that I am only 7-8 weeks along. (I have my first ultrasound on the 16th to confirm the date)  Upon hearing that, some of you may think, “Wow, you jumped the gun on telling people. Shouldn’t you wait until you’re past 12 weeks along in case you miscarry?” Let me explain…

Yes, we jumped the gun.

But we did so because we believe that life begins at conception.  If we believe that life begins at conception, then this tiny human the size of a blueberry, matters. Even if we miscarry.

A few weeks back, I read an article about one of the Duggar girls (I have no idea which one since there about 15 of them) announcing her pregnancy well before the 12-week mark. When asked by the media why she would do that, she simply stated that she believed that life begins at conception, and life should be celebrated regardless. I was a little taken aback since I had never looked at it this way. That started me reading blog post after blog post about this stance and I couldn’t help but wholeheartedly agree her. (Read her statement here from US Weekly)

If you are pro-life, then you must be pro-life from the very beginning. It doesn’t begin at 12 weeks, when society considers the pregnancy “safe”, it begins at day 1. One blog that I read even stated that “miscarriage” is a dangerous word because most women who miscarry mourn in silence and move forward quietly as if it never happened. There is no funeral for this lost life. There is no memorial service. There is no gravesite to weep at. And you are considered odd if you do anything other than get over it quickly.

I am fully aware that making the statement that life matters or that life begins at conception is borderline heresy to the world. It is not a socially acceptable statement, nor is is widely believed. But I believe in it. I carried my son for 9 months, and there is no denying the movements, the feelings I felt, or the heartbeat I listened to as early as 6 weeks. He was never just tissue. He was my baby from day 1. This child that is growing as we speak, will not be viewed any differently.

All that to say, if we miscarry, and I pray daily for the health and safety of this tiny life, people will have known he or she existed. This baby will have had weight in this world even if they were never cuddled and kissed. We will celebrate life as we experience it, and there is no shame in that! I embrace this pregnancy just as I did with my first, and I will not let this world tell me when it’s “safe” to acknowledge it. The world does not define me.

 

  • Julie Lafosse
    http://Julie

    Thank you so much for sharing, Kate. I so enjoy your blog and I just love the message that you and Harris share around the world through the ministry of illusion. We have seen you & Harris in person at a youth conference in Florida a few years ago.
    Our daughter & her husband are trying to get pregnant but having difficulty due to fertility issues associated with PCOS. Our son & his wife have a 5 month old and he is just the sweetest little boy. From the moment we knew that he was growing inside his mommy’s tummy we knew that he mattered. We talked to our daughter in law’s belly, we talked about what it will be like to have him to hold & cuddle WAY before 12 weeks. If that is” Jumping the Gun” then we are right there with you. Life does begin at conception and we pray that we will be celebrating a new life soon through our daughter. Keep inspiring, keep telling the stories and keep “jumping the gun”. Praying for you, Harris, Jude and baby #2. Thanks again!!!

    October 10th, 2014 17:11
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    • Kate

      Thanks Julie! We are so excited about this new chapter! Jude is going to be an awesome big brother!

      October 10th, 2014 19:28
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  • Sarah

    What a great message and I agree with your thoughts. What I didn’t like about the Duggar article was the implication, whether intended or not, that by not sharing the joyous news the moment you learn about it, you are somehow now celebrating the new life. That little life canbe celebrated by the two people who created it or by many others. It is a personal decision to share that information and waiting should mean that you aren’t celebrating God’s wonderful creation.

    October 10th, 2014 18:09
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    • Kate

      I don’t have any issue with anyone who chooses to wait to make the announcement. The danger is when you don’t tell anyone and suffer a miscarriage and then mourn alone, in silence. Even worse, “getting over it” (which the world would prefer), and pretending that it didn’t happen. Pregnancy is amazing and scary, and there are so many mantras and ideas that inflict even more fear. Fear has no place in my life, and even more it has no place in my pregnancy. 🙂

      October 10th, 2014 19:23
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  • Ashley

    Kate,

    Thank you for sharing your pregnancy with us and helping to bring to light that all children should be celebrated from day 1. I have been pregnant 7 times but my husband and I have only gotten to hold 3 of our precious babies in our arms. That doesn’t change the fact that we have had 7 children. I believed the lie that you should wait until 12 weeks to share with others and I can tell you how that works out. With our first we never got to tell anyone. We mourned alone. And when i finally felt as though someone had to know I took my mom out to dinner and told her in one breath, through tears, that she was a grandma but that she would never hold her grandchild. I wish I could say that we learned from that experience and told others from the beginning but we didn’t we waited every time and three more times we would mourn alone, in silence. In fact, after seeing the pain in my mom’s eyes the first time I decided it would be too hard to tell her after my subsequent miscarriages. It wasn’t until recently that I realized we don’t have to get over it! They are our children the same as the 3 we hold and hug each day. It’s ok to talk about them, we should have from the day we found out we were pregnant. I still struggle with those feelings “of getting over it.” That’s what the world says you should do. But I don’t want to be like the world. I let the world control my thoughts too long. God formed my children and knew them whether they ever got to breathe their first breath or not and each of them deserve to be celebrated and remembered. So congratulations on jumping the gun. We are praying for a healthy pregnancy and celebrating your baby with you!

    November 13th, 2014 9:59
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